(Cord Magazine's questions are in blue. Artist responses are in grey.)


Ten Questions…which is more like six because I didn’t write them down and I couldn’t remember them…and we were running short on time.

What’s one thing that scares you more then anything in the world?

Benjamin: For Stevie it’s heights.

Steve: Yeah, I can’t handle them. I’m actually pretty nervous being on this step.

(We’re seated up two steps at a local town hall across from venue).

Really?!

S: No. (Laughter)

B: Just the one step!

S: But if we do Wembley I don’t think I’ll be able to do it. I’ll have to have my back to the audience. No seriously.

B: Would you?! Jim Morrison sort-of thing. Again - tortured poet.

L: This is the time when we should say “Our worst nightmare is a nine to five job” or something like that. Working for the man, hate the man…

B: No, we’re not like that. We’re very middle class. We’re all very nice boys.

L: The Others did a song called This Is For The Poor and we want to do a song called This Is For The Middle Classes, but we probably won’t. We’re thinking about it.

B: That’s something we really, really hate. People think they’re writing for the kids and stuff…well, we’re writing for the kids, but we’re not just pretending that we’re scraping through because that’s just completely nonsense, you know?

L: Even though we are scraping through financially. We’re all completely skint.

B: But we all come from a lovely back ground.

What was your favorite Saturday morning cartoon?

L: I liked Thunder cats.

S: Dungeons and Dragons.

B: What about Mask Crusaders? “Fighting over time, fighting crime, fighting crime” – that was the theme song.

What is your vice of choice?

L: Is this where we’re supposed to say cocaine or something?

Doesn’t have to be illegal!

B: Sunny D and poppers.

L: Kaleidoscopes.

L: Sunny D, poppers and kaleidoscopes. A good roast dinner and a good English breakfast. Definitely.

B: Horse racing.

Really, Ascot?

B: Quite sophisticated.

What’s your favorite venue and city?

L: Definitely not Brussels. We had a bad gig in Brussels where a woman jumped on stage and said ‘I want to fuck you in my red car!’ and then she wouldn’t get off stage and we took too much…

B: Sunny D

L: Sunny D and yeah…

S: But our favorite one! Not the one we hate.

L: We like strange gigs, like playing at abandoned warehouses. We once played at a carwash where we got electrocuted by our keyboards, that was good. But we haven’t played any big venues yet, so when they take over the funny warehouse gigs…

You’ll let us know?

S: Yes. Post it to you.

What’s the one thing in the world that concerns you the most?

S: How far away the nearest KFC is from me.

B: Ignorant people.

L: Yeah, and how the kids are going to grow up. In East London you get some really strange kids who speak English but it’s this whole different language and they’ve just been brought up to be rude. Basically we just love manners and politeness and being civilized. Just for example, like on buses or the internet café – you get some really rude people in that café down stares.

B: Eye contact, just make eye contact.

Bear vs. Shark?

L: A Bear?!

B: Good question. Wonderful question!

L: How shallow?

Pretty shallow, like, three feet.

(Long debate – no definite answer.)

L: Nice shoes by the way.

Thank you.

If you could ask me a question what would it be?

B: Where did you get your watch from?

I got it from the airport in Vancouver.

B: Its kind-of Swiss themed. What are your three favorite things about Switzerland?

Um, I heard the money is quite good and the currency. I think it has Alps, which I’m sure are pretty and…um, well, if the currency is good I’m sure the banks are good too.

L: Why do you want to interview Objects?

Because, well, actually the last band I interviewed was called Bakelite and they’re sort-of Electro as well and I think I’m moving more towards that direction in my own taste. And, you’re good looking…

All: Oh thanks! (Laughter)

Yeah, you’re alright.

B: Um, is this the end of the interview? Shall I do a rap for you?

Yeah, yeah do!

(Human Drum Machine is supplied by Leon at this point and Ben goes into his rap that ends with something like, Golden Years, hair extensions and Tears for Fears…)

Thank You! Thank you so much!

All: Thank you.

Elsewhere

By Andy Scheffler
Photos : Andy Scheffler
Published : July, 2005.